Flower Girl Dresses
I don't know if we do frills. It's not very Guardian. It's a bit lace-doily-twee. They're not quite our brand, darling, as we postmodern snobs say. But every time I go into a clothes shop, there are cascading trims of fabric, not only around skirt hems and blouse cuffs but down the front of dresses and jumpers. Down the front of shoes, for heaven's sake. And they look, whisper it, quite appealing. What's going on?
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It's fine, don't worry, I've solved it. The key is to differentiate between a frill and a ruffle. A frill is an unnecessary and distracting adornment, a ruffle a characterful flourish. Imagine someone singing: a frill is the annoying, warbly, show-offy thing that wannabe Mariah Careys do, whereas a ruffle is that husky edge, a slight break in the voice that makes the sound more interesting.
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Yes, but how do you know which blouse to pick, huh? A ruffle is a bit bolder and more dramatic than a frill. Anything too small-scale and symmetrical and pleated will look meek and Sunday-best, which is not what we're after. And don't overegg the pudding with lace and high collars and tights, because the first communion look, though adorable, is hard to pull off once you're over 18. Quality is important, because a trim in cheap, scratchy lace will look a bit Ann Summers French maid. Anything at the collar is tricky: if you must do a neck-ruffle, go for something supersized, so it's clear you are channelling Viktor & Rolf rather than Aled Jones. How hard can it be? All you need to do is tell the ruff from the (too) smooth.
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? Jess wears velvet ruffle dress, £329, by American Retro, from Fenwick. Tights, £14, by Falke, from mytights.com. Shoes, from a selection, by Kurt Geiger. Photograph: David Newby for the Guardian. Hair and make-up: Charlotte Lowes at Mandy Coakley.
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